invu4uraqt

My kryptonite, the one I cannot fight.

invu4uraqt — Tue, 27 May 2008 04:35:32 +0000

How is it you still make my heart melt every time I see you, even through all the pain you’ve put me through
Why is it that every time you lean in to kiss me, I always kiss you back. My head says ‘NO! He’s f***ed you over one too many times’, but my heart says, ‘F*** your head and it’s logical thinking’.
Why is it that every time you call me, I pick up, when I know I should just ignore you because of the way you’ve mistreated me.
Why is it that I can’t help but to fall in love with you…
…my kryptonite.

Quit Playing Games…

invu4uraqt — Mon, 26 May 2008 08:08:35 +0000

…with my heart.

Dear Him,
Just stop it. Make a f***ing choice.
I don’t think you understand how much you’ve hurt me in the past few weeks.
Everything is up to you, and only you.
I hope you make the right decision.
Love,
Me

Maybe I can do better, or maybe I refuse to let myself…

invu4uraqt — Thu, 22 May 2008 01:01:23 +0000

So I have this really good guy friend, well actually, the majority of my friends are guys…but anyways…I always complain to him and our friends about whatshisface. And this was his response, “E, you are a really good looking girl…you really really are. I, and nobody else understands why you’re so self conscious and shy. You shouldn’t ever fear getting rejected, because who in their right mind would? You’re the intimidating one…thats why guys usually don’t come to you first. You, in the nicest way possible, look like a b****. Like you’re too good for anybody…but once somebody gets to know you thats not how it is. You, me, and everybody else knows it. So common now, go out there and get yourself somebody better than whatshisface. There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
So you know what, maybe I can do better that him. I should mope around and constantly be saddened by him. If he doesn’t want to make a long distance relationship work, then f*** it, f*** him, I am a good looking girl. I can find somebody better than him.

Oh Reba McEntire…

invu4uraqt — Tue, 20 May 2008 08:31:57 +0000

But I can’t tell her I love her
I can’t tell him I love him
Cause there’s too many questions and
Ears in the car
So I don’t tell him I miss him
I don’t tell her I need her
She’s(He’s) over me, that’s where we are
So we’re as close as we might ever be again
Every Other Weekend

Maybe he’s not over me completely…but sometimes it sure does feel that way.
I just want to tell him that I miss him and for him to tell me it too.
I just want to tell him that I’ve completely fallen for him, and that I need him, and he’s honestly the best thing that has ever happened in my life. He made me as happy as I was when I used to dance. He is the only person who can make me smile for an entire day when I’m with him. I want to tell him that even now, every single time I see him, my heart drops to my stomach and I get butterflies and I don’t know how to act. Like on our first date. I want to tell him we can make this work, even though it is long distance and it is going to be hard.
I just want to tell him that he means the world and more to me.

But as much as I think he is the right guy for me, I know it’s not the right time. And that is what breaks my eighteen year old heart.

Just friends?

invu4uraqt — Tue, 20 May 2008 05:41:15 +0000

Guess not.
We can never be just friends.
Never.

Conflict of the heart, mind and…horoscope?

invu4uraqt — Sun, 18 May 2008 01:09:07 +0000

As most people know I, like many others in college, am addicted to Facebook.
I’ve had this horoscope application thing and this was my horoscope for Saturday, May 17th 2008.
“Lovers, children, and other people or things dear to your heart are emphasized at this period in your life. It might not be what you want to hear, but you and a romantic partner may be more comfortable as friends. Don’t try to continue a relationship if you are getting nothing out of it. Avoid blaming anyone today without hearing his or her side of the story.”

I guess its better if we were just friends. But my god, I want so much more.
He recently even told a very good friend of mine that he does still care about me and that if I still lived in El Paso that we would be together.
And it’s so hard to not do anything about my feelings since we’ve been hanging out a lot since I’ve been back in town. And I know nothing can happen, and it just sucks. I need to move on, I do, I really really do.

I don’t understand this countries justice system.

invu4uraqt — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:04:47 +0000

Remember the sad day where Sean Bell was shot fifty times by three NY police outside of a strip club after his bachelor party?
I remember. I never thought much of it, other than wow, those three son of a b****es better get some jail time.
But I should of known better.
The trial was today and all three were acquitted of any charges.
The US justice system is complete bulls***. If it continues to go on like this, with no change, our country is going no where. If cops can kill innocent people and get away with it, why can’t civilians? Why give police one right and not others?

Sean Bell was unarmed that night. Sean Bell was supposed to get married later on that day where he was fatally shot. Sean Bell had a daughter, who’s always going to be asking, “wheres dad?”.

Something needs to be done about this bulls*** system.

Oh universe, why are you never on my side?

invu4uraqt — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:24:07 +0000

I seriously have the worst luck with guys. WORST.
I thought I found a nice guy, but he turns out to be a pretty s***ty guy.
Then I thought I found another nice guy, but he turns out to be shady as a motherf***er.

I just need to go to the gym, work all my frustrations out, come back, get ready and celebrate my good friends twenty first birthday.

(and who knows, maybe there will be some cute guys at the gym )

Getting over it. I mean, him.

invu4uraqt — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 06:00:20 +0000

Why me? Always me. Always getting screwed over. Always getting that heart of mine broken.
I got screwed over, again, by a guy. I hate this shit. Hate it.
Everything was perfect one day, and then the next he doesn’t even talk to me. At all. He has completely ignored me for three days. What the f*** is his problem? If you wanted to stop seeing me, all you had to do was say something. Grow some balls and tell me, because this ignoring me shit is so middle school.

So, now I’m going to get over him, start dating, and hopefully find somebody who is finally right for me. Because sadly, I’m one of those girls who needs a guy in her life at all times. At least, most of the time.

Trust.

invu4uraqt — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 08:27:34 +0000

I always seem to have problems with trusting people. Especially guys. But the thing is, I don’t know why I don’t trust them. I have never been cheated on, never screwed over. I always seem to date guys who truly care about me, want to be with me, try their hardest to keep me happy. It’s me with the problem. I don’t cheat or whatever, but I seem to refuse to believe that guys can be good. And I don’t know why! Like right now, I’m talking to this guy, and I have been for a couple of months now…and I think it’s just because we don’t have the official title of boyfriend/girlfriend, I think hes seeing other people. I know he isn’t, but theres that part of me that just refuses to trust any guy…

Why don’t I trust men? Why? I hate this…